Monday, June 1, 2009

Forgive and forget...


There is no hatred deep inside me towards my hubby. It's just frustration and sometimes disappointment when there are times he did not understand or support me at all. I learnt a few key things about marriage after a year plus being married. Being a wife is not easy...I have to bear my partner's real habits and characteristics even though these are usually revealed after marriage. I understand now that marriage is totally different from being in a relationship. Marriage is like a knot tied together and both parties live together as one whereby commitments and responsibilities are added. So it is important for those who want to consider marriage must know what kind of life they want...especially for ladies. I finally know the truth...the reason behind why a man and a lady want to get married.

For men, marriage means getting himself a lifetime companion whereby someone will be at home when he came back from home...so he won't be alone. In addition, he will expect the wife to serve him and do the household chores...and at the same time some men will expect his wife to work to help out with the household financial. I see the trend these days...maybe due to the high inflation and high living standard. However, ladies, do not forget that we are not owned or belonged to anyone....not even to our hubbies. We have our rights and passing down from generations after generations, the norm of marriage whereby the hubby has to provide living and financial support to his wife still stand strong. No matter the wife works anot, it is very important that the hubby still provide living allowance for the wife. It doesn't matter if it is a little or the wife still helps out with the household financial, but the living allowance is very important. Why is that so?? Think about it..... If your hubby is a businessman and ever busy, will he has time for his wife and bring her for shopping or holiday? I bet not, and if he has given his wife monthly allowance, then the wife could use the money to spend on her own...buy the things she likes, etc. Another example, let's say your hubby is just a normal "makan gaji" engineer and the wife works too to help out with the household financial, and the hubby never gives monthly allowance to his wife....and one day after many years, the wife loses her job and has to stay home to take care of kids. So what happen now? The hubby by the time already get used of you providing financial support to the family and now even need to give you monthly allowance....for sure your hubby won't be happy at all and he statrted to "show face" to the wife....and what if he doesn't want to provide you the allowance? Then the wife will be in bad condition....and probably she will need to use her own savings...and what if her savings all used up? She won't be having any money and what if one day the hubby leaves her for another woman, etc? Many things can happen unexpectedly especially in marriage... So ladies, it is very important to protect yourselves no matter how loving and caring your hubby is. Marriage life is very realistic....love is not the only thing that will solve problem as love can gradually fade....over years...

So to my girlfriends, think about it and we have to protect ourselves. The reason I'm sharing this is that I find it is very important to let all the ladies know out there. I am going through the same thing here....I have never asked monthly allowance from my hubby as I am working and helping out with the household financial...but next few months, I will stop working for a temporary period and I will have no income...My hubby wasn't happy and he did not even bother to give me monthly allowance...and he also expects me to help him pay the household bills...and financially support the family... I was very disappointed on him...and saddened over the matter...and that's where I learnt no matter how loving the couple is....marriage takes the couple to the realistic of life....."no money no talk" and "money" becomes the main key for a happy marriage life...that's the fact... So what will happen to me? I finally see the true colors of my hubby and marriage...and I will take the challenge by searching for scholarship or any method of earning money (legally of course) and I now know that I can't depend on my hubby at all...

That's my luck of not marrying a rich man...probably marrying a rich man won't need me to think and trouble by money matters...but i know maybe I need to sacrifice love and happiness...Anyhow, for me if i get to choose again, i will sure get a rich man or a man who has a car, house and savings, and capable of supporting the family himself without wife working....

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