Upon saying that, I realised I married to a "not-good-breed" guy after all. The term includes his personality, his upbringing, his knowledge, his characteristic, his temper and his family. I am so regretful over about this....I know there won't be a perfect guy out there in this world, but at least not so bad...I think my chose the wrong guy to be my life partner, and my kid's dad...it's totally the wrong puzzle.
I found him to be utterly lazy, messy and forgetful...and he never cares or learn to teach kids..he is really bad at this...Always teaches Eric the bad stuff..like hitting people and boxing...it is all wrong. When I ask him to teach Eric Chinese, as he said he wanted Eric to study Chinese so can communicate with his parents, until now he never teaches him a single character...only words no action (he has been saying this since the day Eric was born). I will never teach Eric Chinese as I am Chinese illiterated. So don't blame me when your parents complain why Eric doesn't know Chinese...the answer is your problem....
One thing for sure, my hubby is getting fatter day by day while I am getting skinnier...I got back my original weight after 2 months birth...it is really fast this time...probably getting "hubby-stress" too much these days...And I found out he is a very bad tempered person...when he is angry he can kill people...but only he tries to hide it..but his facial shows everything...I really did not like his temper and the way he deals with it. He always claims himself the most good-tempered person in his family. Do you know his whole family members have very bad temper just like their father? And my hubby has that too though he always says he has very good temper...and never throw tantrum...oh well my dear hubby, you have shown to me without you knowing it yourself.
And the point I dislike most is he is the worst planner ever....I really hated this fact...as I like to plan and my hubby sucks at that...and always spoils my plan... He is bad at time, family, financial and future managements...........he never had such plans. Family planning none...and worst was no financial planning at all...he said he has but in the end...always complain me use up the money...Oh well, I already do my part to the family, and he is the man of the house...if he can't afford to support a family then don't get married. I get angry quickly each time he deals money discussion with me...he has been working for 7 years already and I only worked for 4 years... He should have a lot of saving and able to support a family by now...and the fact is very depressing...
I have to pay the downpayment for the house, and I have to pay for the car downpayment too..and paying 70% for the car installment, and I did not ask for monthly allowance as a wife...haven't I providing good financial support. Being a lady, with the money earned, people would expect me spending the money on my own for shopping and paying my own bills... Nobody knows the truth about this...not even my parents-in-law. They thought my hubby paid everything as my hubby sure bragged about himself being a good hubby and financially stable to support a family. I am really sad and upset to know that he is not honest at all to his parents.
I can continue listing out the parts of him I am unhappy about...but I think I will bore all my readers...anyway I just want to let out my unhappiness which I have kept for past few months...Didn't know how to release it...so now writing it out in a blog is a good step for me...
3 comments:
Hi gal, just found your new blog which i feel it has a very good interface design that i like most so far among all blogspot .... :-)
Happy to see that u share all you unhappy thing at here but not just keep into your heart ... and alone facing it... i m sure after you spread out all above, u become more relief at least a little bit right... it is not an easy thing for everyone to make it, even myself girl!
After read all the "bad" thing of your hubby, although i know there are maybe still "a lot" not mentioned.... How bout we try to think bout his "good" side? Time when he show his love to you...Time when he first time do thing that cause of you or families that he never did? Or maybe small little action that he did that make you feel you are not alone and being ?.... and so on...
We are girls, that like to complaint a lot...especially to a person that we facing days & nights...If he really so bad, we can not change him in short time as he is adult that already used to his behavior and thought for so far. Why not you try to "educate" him without his awareness...help him patiently and lovingly let him understand why you feel upset to thing he did...let him stand at your situation to think....With love and care, you can surely teach him! Nagging and complaining will not produce good results but real love and care will!
From my experience, and some knowledge shared by Clara, i notice that guy is just like a child sometimes...they won't understand what we are thinking...so we need to "obviously" do some action to let them know...
Hope everything goes fine with you gal! We are always your listener ... :-) Cheers!
Chin Thin, thanks for your comment. Actually your advice on the "educate" and create awareness for him is a good idea..i never thought of that. All in my mind is always change him and want him to understand me. Or i don't really understand him..guess probably the age gap and the communication issue between us. I think i am too prone to complaint here and there...unhappy about the things around so complaint...and makes me being unacceptable and short temper with my hubby. I have been trying to open up and try to tell him when i'm not happy and vice versa...i think for me opening up to him is the hardest part as i have been keeping everything in my heart...thanks for being a good listener. I should find a day to meet u and have a drink...it's been a while we have not catch up :)
Read from some where, they said the best way to change someone's behavior is the ignore the behavior you don't like and reward any behavior that tends to what you do like. For example, any time he shows the slightest tendency toward cooperation, reward him with praise, even if it's only something small. "Honey, I really appreciate that you help to keep Eric toys after tiring working whole day back. That was very considerate." You'll be surprised how quickly he will change using this method...
Just some sharing, hope we can "teach" our partner well... I am also working hard on dealing with the "big child"...
Hope to hear good news from you girl. :)
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